Intervention

I’m worried. I called my sister this morning to see if she wanted to head to IKEA for some inexpensive Scandinavian furnishings and Swedish meatballs. She didn’t answer her phone. I think she’s hungover. Not hungover from a night of competitive bowling and too many White Russian’s, but a different kind of hangover. You see, Miss Priss has an addiction. And this is an intervention. No undercover cameras, no Chris Hansen from “Dateline NBC,” no A&E special, just this simple post.

Before I start, I must let you know I believe the Internet to be a wondrous place chalk-full of fascinating people and interesting information. I use the web to feed my compulsion for information on being a Hot Mama. My brother uses it to watch Limahl’s music video for The Neverending Story over and over again. Since then, he has requested that we call him Atreyu on weekends (Sunday dinners are a riot in our family). Essentially, sufficing your hunger for a deadly sin is only a click away. Priss’s chosen sin: You Tube Gluttony.

I came to the conclusion that Miss P had this addiction yesterday while chatting with her over cheese bagels and Italian sodas. I believe someone across the café whispered “You Tube” under their breath, and demon was released. I could see a twinkle her eye and her body start to twitch. She began to stutter quotes from Charlie the Unicorn (“shun the unbeliever, shuuuunnn”) and Shoes (“these shoes rule, these shoes suck!”). After being removed by security, I knew we had an addict on our hands.

You probably don’t think watching You Tube in excess is an addiction. There aren’t any G.I. Joe/You Tube Public Service Announcements, nor are there any YTA support groups. But the threat is real. I’m afraid Miss P will never be able to appreciate cinematic quality again since she has numbed herself with the low budget shorts of You Tube. Her fingers are getting knobby and socially we can’t take her anywhere without her quoting Cunningham Muffins. Hopefully this intervention will work. Because currently there’s no cure. Therefore, while you’re with Priss, please keep this treatment handy. I have invented what I call “Miss Priss’s Crazy Delicious You Tube Suppression Kit.” The remedy for temporarily curing her You Tube addiction, oddly enough: Mr. Pibb and Red Vines.